The Daily Mail Love To Lie

The Daily Mail just printed this nonsense below.

…there are talks of Captain Jack having a brother in the next movie, possibly to be played by Sacha Baron Cohen (perfect!) or Russell Brand (even more perfect!) Of course, that’s probably just fantasy casting, but why would either of those comedians turn the role down? As we’ve mentioned before, the new movie might kick off a trilogy, which would revolve around Captain Jack’s search for the Fountain of Youth Geoffrey Rush and director Gore Verbinski are apparently both planning to return, but… and this is a big maybe… Tim Burton might direct instead. Tim Burton! [CinemaBlend]

Of course it's a big maybe! You just made the fucking thing up! You thought there might be a chance, because Johnny Depp is involved so you made it right the fuck up. And didn't you just say that Gore Verbinski is planning to return? And what's with the extremely annoying repetition of Tim Burton's name? It's not like we didn't hear it the first time. It's written down! We can re-read it if we missed it. That's how that whole writing/reading thing works.

And as for Russell Brand. Well he looks and talks like Captain Jack Sparrow, so it's plausible that he could play his brother. But there's just one problem. You just made it up! You said 'there are talks of Captain Jack having a brother' Well that is of course true. Because you talked about it in your office with a mate of yours! We are officially boycotting the Daily Mail and never buying it again!?

Okay, so we've never bought a copy in our lives cause it's a reactionary gutter rag but an official boycott is much more exciting and sensationalist. Shit, we're falling into their evil ways. Noooohh!