News Roundup

KEVIN SMITH'S LATEST IS SOFTCORE

Good news for fans of Kevin Smith (which should be everybody - whether you like his movies or not, he's one of the coolest and most affable cats in Hollywood, with a great line in public speaking). His latest movie Zak and Miri Make a Porno has been downgraded from a restrictive NC-17 rating to an R rating which means it will get a wider release and has less chance of bombing than the Dustin Diamond (aka Screech) sex tape. Smith had to go back to the MPAA three times before he got this rating. It seems donkey sex (as depicted in the R-rated Clerks 2) is no problem but sex between a man and a woman! What is the world coming to?!



WE HAVE OUR FIRST INGLORIOUS BASTARD

And man is he inglorious! After rumours of Brad Pitt and Leo Di Caprio being cast in Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards , the first cast member was announced yesterday. His name is...wait for it...drum roll please...Eli Roth!

Wow! Take a deep breath everyone. Yes, you heard that right, the director of the Hostel movies who has about 3 piss-poor cameos to his name has been cast. His roll is not one of the marquee lead parts so it begs the question; what's this the big fanfare announcement?! In fact, why are we even reporting it here? Slow news day I guess.



DARK KNIGHT BLAH BLAH BLAH

The Dark Knight passed $400 million in just 18 days beating the previous record set by Shrek 2 by a country mile. The Dark Knight now looks set to become the second highest grossing picture of all time and could even reach $500 million domestic. Whatever, until they start reporting attendance figures, these records are gonna keep going every few years.

There's also a whole host of silly speculation about the possible follow up. Angelina Jolie to play Catwoman. Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Penguin. Jonny Depp for The Riddler. Here's a rule of thumb. Any rumour you hear is bullshit! Nobody knows anything yet. Nothing is decided. Chris Nolan probably doesn't even know yet. So everybody, go back to bed and we'll wake you up in 2 years when there's actually something to report.